It's all about the MAN!

My heart hurts...

So, I've started writing this post many time. It's not very Merry Christmasie (is that a word?) Why now? I guess because once again it's gotten too big and my heart needs to burst.

My life seems to have themes...some come and go and then there is this one thread that is constant, nagging and down right painful...Loss/Grief. I've tried ignoring it, boxing it up and stuffing it in the back, facing it and then moving on.... and for awhile all of those work, but as life would have it before long I'm again faced with another opportunity to be intimately acquainted, again.

Today, it's facing the first Christmas time with half my children gone. It's not what I planned and I don't like it! I tease my sister, Em, because she isn't big on doing things alone. The older I get the more I realize how important it is to have my children around, participating in our family traditions. What makes is worse, what overwhelms me with grief is that this was not the plan...ok, not my plan. Mychel-Anne, I knew that was coming. I had 18 years to prepare. I know it would still have stung, but when you add Nathan's absence...well, it's just too much.

Slowly, patiently, lovingly I think Heavenly Father is trying to teach me to feel. I gotta tell you...not really liken it. Hard feeling are like dental visits...they have a purpose but no need to have them more often than absolutely necessary. But, since all my other methods of dealing with it haven't really been working for me...I'm trying the feeling thing...alright already...can we be done now?

In the end I guess this really is about Christmas. The core. The heart. Jesus. He came for us...each of us. He came for me. He knows me and still loves me...how amazing is that? If you are struggling this holiday season, sista or brother come on over (physically or virtually) and get a hug. I believe in hugs. Words...not as dependable or helpful sometimes. Listening on the other hand....priceless.

Ok...enough feeling for one day. Maybe I'll just go eat some sugar cookie dough. I can tell ya that will make me feel something and look at all the calories I'll save by not having frosting! Mychel-Annie...want some? Come and get it!

Emily Wootton Carmack....it's your day!

I remember the day she was born, clearly. I came home from school and no one was home. It was a cold and snowy afternoon. I couldn't figure out why no one was there. I was 8. Now before you get all child welfare on me...that's not the point. Hello, I'm not "gifted" but you'd think I'd have paid enough attention to know that my mom was about to have a baby! Who knows maybe I did realize it and just don't remember that part...it was a long time ago (that's not an age crack Em...just my reality) I was so excited when they finally brought her home. So excited I could have caused her early departure from earth.She got pneumonia and had to stay in her bassinet a blanket over it and the humidifier on. I couldn't stand it. I kept going in and lifting up the blanket to look at her. Needless to say, once again, not the brightest bulb.

Anywho, she survived me and is amazing. So amazing I recommend checking out her blogs: here and here. Don't be a hater...I know you're going to wish you were me...what can I say...umm...I'm good at sharing ;D

No surprise to those who know me....

You Are a Bright Christmas Tree

For you, the holidays are all about fun and seasonal favorites. You are into all things Christmas, even if they're a little tacky.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

Do Pumpkin Cookies Count as a Vegetable?

It's been almost a year since Cully came to play with our family Monday thru Friday. He could not be more of a blessing. We're so grateful his parents allow us the privilege of loving him. Plus, seriously...could he be any cuter?

Thanksgiving left over goodness!

Confession...I saw this on the food network and purposely made green bean casserole so I could make this. I don't like it and we usually have lots left over I end up tossing...oh, not this year!

I don't watch a lot of Food Network Chefs but I do have Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee set on the DVR.I've learned so many trick...if you haven't seen her show...check it out.

Anyway...here is a yummy, quick left over dinner idea....she calls them Next Day Empanadas.


May I just say...where have I been...parchment paper rocks! If you don't have some...go, seriously...go get some and USE it!

My adaptations are: made my own pie crust...it's fast and easy; used turkey and drop of gravy instead of potatoes and Mexican seasoning. Let me know if you make them and what you do to put your own spin on them.

Bonus recipe from Sandra I also recommend: Turkey Chilaquiles