I want one...

Some people watch the opening ceremonies for the show, the music, the culture.
That's good and all, but I enjoy the fashion show...
who needs fashion week?
Love at first sight.
Anyone going to Slovenia?
Anyone know a Slovenian Olympian about my size
that wants to give me theirs?
Ya, that's what I thought...

The Real Me

So, this sweet sister emailed me a request for me to answer 5 questions for the getting to know you section of our Relief Society newsletter. I dutifully complied. Imagine my surprise when a sweetened and sanitized version was printed. I believe in being honest, true etc...in that spirit I share my original answers:

Where are you from?
I grew up in Centerville, UT and then Linwood, NJ

What are your talents and interests, or what things do you enjoy?

Spending time with my family, Sleeping, Reading, Scrapbooking, Tetris...in that order

What do you dislike?
Garlic, Cantaloupe, being awakened unecessarily, scary movies (also wanted to say, but didn't dare, people who aren't prepared and waste my time)

Your skills,training, education:
I have a BA in education and a minor in psychology. I can read and watch TV at the same time. I'm better at Tetris on facebook than my daugther Mychel-Anne (she's a freshman in college). I can make bread, jam and a cake for scratch but I choose not to. I'm currently learning how to use itunes.

What callings do you have and/or have you had in the past?

Years in primary, young women's, sunday school and every so often Heavenly Father lets me be a Relief Society teacher. Current serving in my most shocking and awesome calling ever: Primary Chorister. Who knew it gives you rock star status in the children's eyes....a definite bonus.

My heart hurts...

So, I've started writing this post many time. It's not very Merry Christmasie (is that a word?) Why now? I guess because once again it's gotten too big and my heart needs to burst.

My life seems to have themes...some come and go and then there is this one thread that is constant, nagging and down right painful...Loss/Grief. I've tried ignoring it, boxing it up and stuffing it in the back, facing it and then moving on.... and for awhile all of those work, but as life would have it before long I'm again faced with another opportunity to be intimately acquainted, again.

Today, it's facing the first Christmas time with half my children gone. It's not what I planned and I don't like it! I tease my sister, Em, because she isn't big on doing things alone. The older I get the more I realize how important it is to have my children around, participating in our family traditions. What makes is worse, what overwhelms me with grief is that this was not the plan...ok, not my plan. Mychel-Anne, I knew that was coming. I had 18 years to prepare. I know it would still have stung, but when you add Nathan's absence...well, it's just too much.

Slowly, patiently, lovingly I think Heavenly Father is trying to teach me to feel. I gotta tell you...not really liken it. Hard feeling are like dental visits...they have a purpose but no need to have them more often than absolutely necessary. But, since all my other methods of dealing with it haven't really been working for me...I'm trying the feeling thing...alright already...can we be done now?

In the end I guess this really is about Christmas. The core. The heart. Jesus. He came for us...each of us. He came for me. He knows me and still loves me...how amazing is that? If you are struggling this holiday season, sista or brother come on over (physically or virtually) and get a hug. I believe in hugs. Words...not as dependable or helpful sometimes. Listening on the other hand....priceless.

Ok...enough feeling for one day. Maybe I'll just go eat some sugar cookie dough. I can tell ya that will make me feel something and look at all the calories I'll save by not having frosting! Mychel-Annie...want some? Come and get it!

PSA (public service announcement)

Note:
Do not throw a hissy fit
(no matter how justified it may be)
while carrying a glass of cranberry apple juice
while walking on light carpet

Do be grateful
for friends
you can call
(ok dear husband can call)
at 9:30 p.m. on a Sunday night
and ask to borrow their carpet cleaner

Finally,
be willing to eat crow
when focus of alleged hissy fit
stays up past midnight
cleaning the carpet
even though he has to be up at 6 a.m.

a painful farewell

I'm in mouring.
i had to let a new friend go.

iT pains me
I'm having Withdrawals

the worst part is...I was duped

so that none of you experience the same TramA i'll share the depressig details

Last January Gary and I gave up all soda.
it wasn't as hard as I expected, except for the ice.
I lOVe good ice...you KnoW what I mean
sonic, sams, zaxby's

i adjusted..most places have lemonade, but sometimes I need a change.

then, sOnic introduced 1/2 pRice hAppY hr...oH, haPpy Day!
Cranberry slush
real fruit slushes
....life was gOOd!!!

....until yesterday....
when I made a necessary but tragic discovery on the SoNic website
a rt 44 cranberry slush has 616 calories (I could live with that occassionally) and
166 carbs!
You've got to be freakin' kiddin' me....
166
are they out of their minds!

just for comparison
a rt 44 coke has 371 calories and 101 carbs
a large tropical smoothie has 593 calories 146 carbs
a large chocolate malt has 844 calories and 144 carbs

there is no justice in this world.
I've switched over to dark chocolate
given up soda
don't keep chips, cookies, related junk in the house
don't eat fast food
and now...now they've taken away my last drive thru bright spot

....I can't talk about this anymore
....it's just too painful

I

*60*

sixty
it's my new favorite
number!
ten MonThs x 1 day at a time =60 lbs!!!

I have a crush...

on Pierce Brosnan. Seriously...it's bad. Gary does know about it. He just smiles at me in that "you're a trip" way. Anyone up for seeing Mamma Mia with me? It will only be my third time.... I should warn you, though, I sing along the whole time...I mean really, who can resist ABBA!

Tag. I'm it

10 random things about me because Christina asked.

• 10. I love liver and onions w/bacon, especially when my mom makes it. My heart smiles every time Zac proudly announces he and I are the only ones in the family who like liver and onions.
• 9. I'm not anything like the grownup I thought I'd be. Really, not even close.
• 8. I'd rather read that do most anything else, but I hate to buy books. I don't read books twice, almost never. Same with movies (the buying and twice part)
• 7. The older I get the less I like being alone for very long...go ahead Em, laugh, laugh out loud, make the call, gloat ;D
• 6. Naps are my talent
• 5. One of the worst days of the year for me is the first day of school. The last day of school is one of the best.
• 4. Double stuff Oreos are sooo much better than regular
• 3. shhh don't tell anyone and jinx it, but my boys will still cuddle with me sometimes
• 2. I still miss my dad everyday. My favorite compliment was when people told me I looked like him. Now when I see his features in my aging face...not so much...
• 1. I'm over the top, down right giddy, heart throbbing in love with my husband of over 19 years, even though we still don't have the communication thing figured out quite often. Our last two fights were about Asian salad and the first day of school...go figure.
  

If you wanna play...consider yourself tagged and then let me know so I can come over and read yours.

We're BACK and Remember When?

Internet's been down for a few days...I'm officially an addict. I nearly went to the library to check e-mail and blogs. Sooooo glad to be back! Christina...I did see the tag...I'm working on it ;)

My friend Shalene started this and I thought it would be fun. Hope you'll play along :D

1. As a comment on my blog, leave 1 memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, if it is recent or years old, silly or serious--anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.